About Love

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Posted by: bleak_presence Original: 7/10/2009 12:40 AM Views: 11 Comments: 1 eProps: 2 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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Friday, July 10, 2009

[Love, you're in texas for 10 days. starting today. and i miss you already. i miss you like ever y thing.]

it's a subject that i have to think about. a subject where my hands pause and my eyebrows arch before my fingers touch the keyboard. i mean. i've written about love many times before. but it's indirect. vague. fiddly. it branches off or has many other things branching off from it. it's a very inexperienced topic. or, rather, to be more specific-the feelings are.
not to say that i don't love people. i do. i love my friends and the essential people in my life. but when it comes to men, something is just not there. Looking back at my past "relationships" i was never really in love with anyone. there was lust. there was curiosity. there was thrill. there was time to be spent and conversations to be had. smiles to be shared and pleasure to be received - , and pleasure to be given. is my aloof demeanor on this certain intimacy to be pitied? some may say so. some may say "oh that poor woman, afraid of love." "she doesn't know a thing about anything." "she's cold. she's heartless, ignorant, mean, inept."

There is nothing in thinking these things, those words hold nothing but definitions. definitions that define nothing because they are exclusively notional. people look pea-brained putting themselves above others just so, in this way. i only think it's sad when people don't know how to be alone. when they can't stand to enjoy themselves, by themselves. how can someone be incapable of being in love? how? how.
because, i do not think love is an ability. --
love is simply a belief.
and do i believe in it?
of course. of course i do. why wouldn't i? it's all i'm about. it's all i express. it's all i ever talk about, you just don't know it.

and at times i think that certain people weren't meant for a love like this. that when they were born they were meant to be in love with their own being. they were meant to have others fall in love with them. they were meant to be in love with something-art, energy, performing, dancing, music, speaking etc. they were meant to feel the float on their own. to create it, to generate it, to design it, to sow its seeds.
or maybe i'm just pulling shit out of my ass.

regardless of the shit-pulling--the only man i have ever loved and do love is my older brother. he is the one person in the entire world that i would not be able to live without.,-- / without knowing that he is there. i love him i love him i love him. no one could ever replace him. he is beautiful. no man is as good as he is.

Posted 7/10/2009 12:40 AM - 11 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment

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1 Comment

this is beautiful : )
love comes in many forms, and its a shame when people can't be alone. this made me think about society and how people may see others as inept, or scared. who can say what love is? or when someone is ready? very thought provoking.

Posted 7/14/2009 1:00 AM by ShyxAlikat17 - reply

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